Elon Musk’s new biography by means of Walter Isaacson is just like the digital-age model of “Conflict and Peace,” excluding as a substitute of Russian aristocracy, we are coping with billionaire tech moguls. And the warfare? Smartly, that is fought within the Twitter trenches, with hashtags as a substitute of bayonets.
Musk’s Impulse Purchase: Twitter
Elon Musk, impulse-buying Twitter is such as you or me grabbing a pack of gum on the grocery checkout. Simplest his gum prices billions and has the possible to disrupt international democracy. Isaacson tells us that Elon principally regretted the purchase as quickly because the ink dried at the contract. He says, “The pass judgement on principally mentioned that I’ve to shop for Twitter or else,” which is sort of a youngster announcing, “Mother mentioned I’ve to take out the rubbish or else.” Simplest this is not chores, Elon; it is a multi-billion greenback social media platform!
Are you able to believe Elon Musk pacing round his SpaceX place of work announcing, “Did I actually simply purchase Twitter? What am I going to do with it? Wait… I were given it! I’ll tweet about it!”
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Banking on Twitter Blue
Let’s speak about Elon’s grand imaginative and prescient for Twitter Blue, now renamed X Top class as a result of he most certainly were given tired of the unique identify. Musk aimed to turn out to be it right into a financial-services juggernaut. You already know you might be someday when your social media platform additionally needs to be your financial institution.
Ah sure, Twitter Blue! Or will have to I say X Top class? It feels like an grownup film, however it is simply Elon Musk’s manner of claiming, “Give me your bank card information, and in change, you’ll tweet longer nonsense and upload additional emojis!”
The ADL Saga and Loose Speech, or Lack Thereof
Musk because the defender of unfastened speech is like calling a jackhammer a musical software. Positive, it makes noise, however you do not want to listen to it at a live performance. He went on to take a look at and ban ADL and different activist teams from Twitter.
Trump’s Twitter Standing: It’s Difficult
Now, Elon, who does not like Trump, used to be going to revive his Twitter account as a result of… he used to be in a “feisty temper”? I have been in feisty moods, however I do not purchase social media corporations or reinstate debatable figures. At maximum, I may order additional jalapenos on my pizza!
The “Hardcore Twitter” Pledge
Elon Musk’s thought of a loyalty oath for his workers is making them decide to “hardcore Twitter.” It is like a biker gang, however as a substitute of Harleys, they journey table chairs and the one patches they’ve are for instrument insects.
The Nice Server Migration
In spite of everything, there may be the server fiasco. Elon idea shifting hundreds of servers could be as simple as shifting a couple of containers. “It does not appear tremendous onerous,” he says. Oh Elon, shifting servers is not like launching rockets. Oh wait, you do this too. Nevermind.
- Elon Musk shopping Twitter is like shopping a puppy tiger. It is cool till it activates you.
- Isaacson’s biography of Elon is so detailed, it most certainly comprises the frequency of his laser hair elimination appointments.
- So, Musk purchased Twitter as a result of he “had no selection”? What used to be the other, MySpace?
- Twitter Blue converting to X Top class is the tech global’s identical of when your goth good friend unexpectedly turns into a hipster.
- Elon Musk protective unfastened speech is sort of a cat protective a fish tank.
- Simplest Elon Musk may flip a “feisty temper” right into a political motion.
- Musk’s model of “hardcore Twitter” is most certainly like Combat Membership however with memes.
- Elon’s server transfer is principally tech’s model of the Oregon Path, entire with the similar possibility of items breaking down.
- Deleting Polytopia used to be more difficult for Elon than deleting tweets, it seems that.
- Elon’s impulse shopping: 1, Commonplace Sense: 0.